Archive for November, 2010

Sunday Morning Comics Episode 3 – Jason James

November 11, 2010

SMC Episode3 Jason James

Punishment by Car

November 8, 2010

I started a nice little show swing through west Texas. The head of the mini-tour was to dawn in Midland, then to the hub city of Lubbock and conclude in one of my favorite towns, Amarillo.

I picked up a rental car and opted for the compact, which is one step up from the basement of rental car choices, the economy. When the agent took me to my car he took me to this

A Kia Rio. The car was about 2-3″ bigger than I was. This is not a car I get into, but that I put on; perhaps that I wear.  I reluctantly accept it when he says there is nothing else for me. I load my luggage and move on.

As I begin to drive, I start to familiarize myself with my new not- so- kick ass  ride that I will shamefully drive for the next 4 days.

The first thing I notice, is that the windows are manual. Who in the hell (not in a third world country) orders a car with manual windows. Even my 1976 Corvette Stingray has electric windows. I then realize that the locks were manual as well.

I started adjust the mirror and found this Penis shaped, looking thingy. If you wanted to adjust the passenger side mirror, well, you needed just that, a passenger.Now I am on the road for an hour and then notice it has no damn cruise control.  Never knew how tired a leg can get holding your foot at one position for longer than an hour.Ok, so let’s review. This vehicle has no electric windows, nor electric door locks. You have to reach across the vehicle to adjust the mirror, and of course they are manual. It was deemed unnecessary to have cruise control.

Needless to say…..I hate this car. It knows it too.  After discovering all it’s inadequacies, I noticed one odd little feature on it. It has a god damn USB port:

You can’t roll down your own windows, Kia, but you can download shit off of my computer. My rental car was like an autistic teenager.

(Now before my email box blows up with hate mail, regarding autistic teenagers, remember it’s a joke.)