Archive for May, 2011

Mujibar, Priceline, and Tom Hanks

May 19, 2011

Ok, so most of the readers enjoy the occasional debacles I find myself in while on the road. I do too. Unfortunately not the other parties
involved; therefore, I like to really tell the story.  You know….in hopes that they might see it.  But I am certain Mujibar doesn’t read English.

A few months ago I was to go on the road and had to book a room in the Dallas Fort Worth metroplex for a couple of nights. So I crawled
online and went to priceline.com and started the search for a financially compatible room. Now I utilized the “Name Your Own Price” feature. This is where you pick an area, a price, and then the rating of the room.  I like to stay by the DFW airport, so I am centrally located to both metro areas. So you pick the areas you want and they shade it, you click enter and there is not turning back, they pick it for you.  They find a hotel in the area at the price, and style you requested immediately. It’s a bit blind, but you often get a good deal…..often.

The computer stuck me at the Hyatt Regency……in DFW Airport. Now I like the Hyatt…stayed there before a number of times but it was in the
damn airport. Which means for two days every time came in or out I had to go through the damn security gate at the airport entrance. Terribly annoying and inconvenient.

So I called Priceline, and Mujibar was selected to assist me and I explained that I was stuck inside the airport, and that was not helpful
and I needed to change the hotel. He was obviously reading from a script; then he looked at the map and said “sir, the airport is in the shaded area.”

I said, “ALLLLL Airports are shaded on every god damn map.” His response was carefully scripted, and obviously canned. He clearly wasn’t
listening.  I continued pleading my case, and every response was canned, identical, soulless, and in broken English, so I hung up.

Now Mujibar from Priceline decides to send me an email…..and
it is form letter. Oh yeah, I saved it and responded:

Dear DARYL FELSBERG,  

We are always looking for ways to improve our products and
services and we appreciate feedback from our customers. Thank you for taking
the time to share your issues/concerns with us. At Priceline, customer
satisfaction is our number one priority and we will continue to do our best to
make your Priceline experience a pleasant one.

Please accept this bonus money ($10)for your next Priceline
HOTEL request as a token of appreciation for your time and consideration. The
details of the bonus and the bonus money are as follows:

 

Ten bucks. I don’t want your Priceline Bucks…..I want a
different hotel. One not in an airport.

So here is my response:

Dear, Priceline Robot, and Mujibar,

FUCK YOU! And your shitty script wielding, no listening,
stick us in a hotel INSIDE a god damn airport. What am I Tom Hanks in the
Terminal? Shall I dine at the Cinnabon? Bathe in terminal C. Blow me, you
whore. I hate you william Shatner…stick it square in your ass. Can you
negotiate that?

    

 Daryl Felsberg   

Who’s not a robot, or Indian.

 

Now, you assume the dialogue is done right? No! Here is
their scripted robot response:

Dear Daryl,

Thank you for taking the time to send us an e-mail. We
understand that you are dissatisfied with our policies in regard to your
upcoming hotel reservation at the Hyatt Regency Dfw, as you believe that you
have not received the hotel in the area you selected at the time of submitting
the request.

We apologize if you are dissatisfied with our policies.

Dickheads.

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