Archive for August, 2012

Open Mouth Insert Ass….or however that goes.

August 11, 2012

For the first time in along time we took a family vacation, against my will. Because it wasn’t just my wife and kids, it was mom in law, father in law, step father in law (oh yeah, don’t make me explain), sister in law, brother in law and nephew. Whew!

We all went to Cheyenne Wyoming for the Frontier Days Rodeo. Now I know what you are saying “Daryl, you’re into Rodeo?” Nope. But it’s like the AFC Playoffs; you go if invited, even at your expense. Well, one of the events we attended was a Country Music Concert with A Band Perry, and Brad Paisley.

The opener, that Perry Band thingy, they took a intermission…in a rodeo arena to get the stage set for the headliner Mr. Paisley. They had a couple large jumbo screens for everyone to enjoy the shows. During the break they show commercials on these screens and at first it went to EXTREMELY BRIGHT WHITE for 20 seconds.

It was so painful and awful. For comedy sakes I yell, “You’re giving us cancer!” Right at that very moment the woman in front of me had already stood and lighted her cigarette! Yep, right as I yelled it.

She turned and said “Yep you bet your ass I am” in a disgusted voice. I stood quickly and said I was referring to the screen, and she waved me off. Then she said “I already gave both my tits to cancer”. I felt like shit. I explained that I was a comic, and not an asshole, and was just trying to make those around me laugh. She kept waving me off. So I gave her a card and said “email that address on their and they will send you a free CD. I feel bad, the timing was horrible.”

Then she had to explain the WHOLE thing to her husband. Who was a native American, or an angry Mexican, I get them mixed up often. I was uncomfortable. Once it was water under the bridge, we sat back down and I told my nephew what happened, and then I said this. “She said she lost her tits to cancer….and she still smokes.” Right then there was a pause in the crowd. She heard that too. Fuck.

I’m an asshole.

PS: If you read this Frontier Days smoking lady, I am sorry. It really was like a bad Seinfeld episode.