Silly, the Kid

During the holidays, my booking efforts shifts from clubs to corporate gigs. Those are often Christmas Parties for some company at a country club or restaurant. They often pay better, but are more challenging. 

I had a short string (three nights) of corporate shows and my 10 year old son was going along for the ride. Now, before I am judged please keep in mind that my son has done stand up, and on corporate gigs he sells merchandise and acts as a road manager. One of the nights was for a city  Christmas party; expectantly a tough show. Few government parties are much fun. I was shocked that they even had a Christmas party not a “Holiday” party. There were some smug humans, there that found  nothing in life funny….and I assumed soon enough, me too. 

When we arrived my son and I were sitting in the back and scouting the crowd and the room. We learned that the PA would be a Karaoke machine. It’s a recipe for failure. The boy said “dad, when you go up open with this.. tell them that if they miss something it’s ok, because the jokes would be on the Karaoke monitor as you’re saying them.”

Funny. See the kids gets it and he’s 10.

On the stage were two stand up pianos, and I jokingly said “we should do dueling pianos”. My son, kidding said he would go up and play. So we made a plan, if the show started to eat shit, I would invite him up to play for the crowd.  

So 20 min we did better than I thought, and as I was talking to the crowd I started fooling with the piano. I looked to the back of the room to my boy, and through the Karaoke machine, I said ” hey son, you want to play a few for the audience.” He said sure. The crowd started clapping, as he made his way to the stage, I told the crowd that he was  a classically trained pianist that had been taking lessons since he was 3. I said “Hey, play that little Christmas tune your mom likes so much.”


Here’s the best part. He doesn’t play. Not a fucking lick. 


Without missing a beat he pulls himself to the pianos with all seriousness, as I just looked off into space listening, he just started hitting keys and not making any music what soever. I looked off making faces of content and approval. He banged on the keys with the conviction of someone who thinks they are good and know what they were doing for nearly minute. 

Half the room got it, the other half was mortified….I was never prouder. 


He left the stage to applause and bewilderment. He pulled it off. Never giggled; had a straight face the whole time, he played the part. I did another 30 minutes of stand up, got out and headed to the hotel. We laughed and thought how funny it was, how we acted as if we thought he was so grand at playing. 

I’m easily amused. 

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