When It’s Ok to Poop the Bed

Those that follow my comedy know the possum story rather well….and you should that’s a piece of literacy that shall be entered in to libraries….if they are still around. Sooooo, if you love stories of unexpected hillbilly vermin……read on, friend, read on.

As I have said before we have spent the last 4 years living in rural East Texas…..the country. It’s a pleasant change to the pace of the city. With it comes chaos and other shit I don’t care for. 

One morning I awaken from a sleep of peace and beauty (clearly a dirty dream). I put on my glasses and I see what seems like a 8 inch spider on the ceiling. My immediate thought was “holy shit. that’s a big spider!” I am able to see so much detail; his furry legs, and crazy eyeballs,…like he was right there. He was.

Apparently the spider was on my glasses. I immediately go to wipe him off, when I realize he’s not going anywhere. Yep….he was on the inside of my glasses. I hurled my glasses and he was killed by a shoe. See?…..that’s when it’s ok to shit the bed.