Mom, Death, $1,000,000, Life

So I generally reserve this space for a story of how someone wronged me, and ended up on the short end, or something obtrusive and funny to primarily me. Instead, something  has brewed in me all day that deserves to be shared. 

Today my mom had her 57th birthday. Sure most folks have a mom, and most moms are ultra-uber special to them, and rightfully so. Mine is different. She asks of nothing; dealt with what seems like chronic pain and sorrow, and yet has recently realized the value of her life and empowered a new attitude. It’s invigorating to me and rewarding as a son to see. 

Without being real lengthy, let me explain why mom deserves every great thing she gets. She was raised from a poverished – lower income family in the 60’s with a alcoholic father who would die before he should and before his youngest daughter turned 14, my mom.

She got pregnant with me when she was 17. My dad did the right thing and married her. He loved her, and she loved him. He couldn’t offer her much, but he took care of her. Ninth grade education of a man would earn you a mediocre life and less than stellar career options. These jobs delivering milk, driving a truck, would land you in a 600 Sq ft 3 room house….with a kick ass chicken coop. If it bothered mom, you didn’t really know. She was that good. She is what love is. 

Later my father landed a big job in the oil field. In the early 80’s next to underwater welding, it was one of the toughest jobs there was; the safety precautions were minimal, and those without educations could land decent paying jobs. Dad moved mom into a 3 bedroom 1100 square foot house, since my brother was on the way. 

Mom picked up a job here and there at a hospital, or the census, what she needed to do to feed us. There were many times there was enough food for us but not for her; her excuse was “i’m not hungry.” That’s a mother’s love. Sometimes we had hamburger helper with out the hamburger. Life was tough. Mom rarely bought clothes, and she NEVER put her needs in front of us. 

So with that said, Mom sounds like she is really a saint……put up with a lot of shit. Couldn’t get any worse right?

My mom for years tried to go to college so she could create a better life for us. All she wanted was a 2 year degree to be an LVN…..that’s it. It seemed every time she would try her hand at college, something would happen; my dad would get hurt, she would hatch my sister, or my dad would get laid off. Again, putting her dreams and desires behind everyone else’s

in 1989, at the age of 37 my father passed away, while my mother was nearly done with college. I was 15 the oldest of three and my mom was only 33. Talk about a blow. But you know what? She finshed. She did it? For her? Nope, she now had to raise three kids. She did it for us. She didn’t go out looking for a replacement for Dad, she became our dad too. When pops did die, we had nothing. Nada. We were borrowing a car. She made sure that we got our school yearbooks, that we went on school sponsored trips, etc. She pulled double duty and did it well. 

As I experienced success as I matured, I tried to share those rewards with my mom as most kids do. I gave her nice things, that she felt she didn’t deserve. She often returned them and spent the money on the grandkids. 

Mom buys christmas gifts year around, in anticipation of giving them to family friends. The awesome part is she forgets in November what she bought in June. She always thinks of everyone else. 

She has her faults. We all do, but it doens’t matter. I always thought she was soft and timid, when in reality she was tougher than I ever could be. As I enjoyed a fast track to success and couldn’t do any wrong she loved me equally as I tumbled down from a “7 figure” life. She loves her 3 kids, unconditionally, and she’s proud of her grandkids. I see her changing her life habits to make sure she can enjoy her grand kids, and someday great grandkids. That’s love. 

Love isn’t always just a hug, and some words. It’s doing what you have to do to make sure someone you love enjoys a full comfortable life….but don’t forget to say it now and then. Folks need to hear it once in a while. 

The “wives tale” is that a man will marry a woman like his mother, thank god. I’m lucky; and it’s true. You should see my wife, she’s a hell of a mom too. Thanks mom. 


2 Responses to “Mom, Death, $1,000,000, Life”

  1. Helena McIver Says:

    I know she was amazing to me and my siblings when we were young. I always thought about her through out the years. Its so good to be back in touch with her…I love her dearly and thank god she was there for my mother.. for us…

  2. Javi Luna Says:

    Something told me to check in on your blog today for some random reason. Pretty sure it was so that I could read this. Thanks for sharing and reminding me today of the sacrfices my own mother made.

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